The Scoop on Poop

WARNING: This post contains poop content. Reader discretion is advised.

For us, once we had a child, poop took on a whole new meaning! You find yourself talking poop a lot more than you would prefer to.

Let me explain...

When Gloria was born, we had to keep track of the poop color and frequency. The hospital even gives you a handy little chart (with pictures for reference...aren't they so thoughtful?). It wasn't uncommon for us to discuss poop color after a diaper change. Not because we couldn't find anything else to talk about but because we wanted to make sure our baby was passing normal stool.

The poop talk doesn't end there. As children get older, poop can be taken to a whole new level. And a very very messy one. I've heard all sorts of poop stories over the years. Well...now we have our own.

Yesterday evening, as I was starting to get dinner going, I had changed Gloria's diaper and decided to give her some air time.

Since Gloria is teething (she now has 7 teeth!) she has been pooping frequently and its been giving her some diaper rash. Besides lots of diaper changes and diaper ointment, allowing some air to get to the rash really helps to clear it up. So...now and then I've been giving Gloria some time without a diaper. Sure. Great. So far so good. Until last night.

I had placed Gloria in her crib, sans diaper, with a few books and her regular items in her crib...blanket and a few stuffed toys (Read: As I look back on the situation I really don't know what I was thinking here!!). She loves to flip through books so she was very content in there while I was getting dinner started.

5 minutes later, I walked back into her room to see her standing in her crib looking right at me with a horrified look on her face like "Mama, something is wrong. This can't be ok!" And sure enough, it was not.

As I stood in complete and utter shock, I scanned the scene. Brown was everywhere! Face and hands covered! Shirt and legs coated! I looked behind her to see a giant brown spot in the middle of her bed, smeared all over as though she had been finger painting with a melted chocolate bar. Footprints of brown covered the books and I could go on but you get the idea. (sorry for the graphic description but this gives you a slight picture of what I walked into!)

Tom heard my horrified yelp and came running. He couldn't believe his eyes either. But he was quick to say "Let's get a photo!" Haha. I've taught my husband well but I didn't think this was exactly a Kodak moment. I couldn't even bear to think about taking pictures. I HAD to get her cleaned up. It was just totally grossing me out to see my baby girl covered in POOP! Oh man!

So Tom only got to sneak in one pic and I refuse to share it here. This one is for our eyes only, sorry. I can hardly bare the thought of what happened, never mind a photo!

I got the tub ready and put Gloria in, shirt and all, while Tom cleaned up the poopy scene or Code Brown as we use to call it when I worked at the hospital. Thank God Tom was here! I don't think I could have maintained my composure if I had to deal with it alone.

After this fiasco, it was dinner time. Oh boy did I have an appetite...er...NOT!

There is our story. Hopefully it will be the only one but as many of you would tell me, it probably isn't. I hope it gave you a chuckle. I am able to see the humor in it now but didn't at the time.

I'm sure many of you have similar stories. PLEASE share them! Either here or via email. I need a good chuckle and it will make me feel better to know we're not alone. :)