Ready or Not?

I'm at the point in my pregnancy where we go see the doctor every two weeks. On Friday, we had our 35 week appointment. Everything is looking good...heart rate is good, movement is good, but come to find out, the baby has dropped! So what does that mean? Well, in a way, it means that the baby is going into the light:)

Seriously though, it means the baby has started the early process of getting into position for labor. It doesn't mean that I'm in labor or even close to it at this point. I was just told that this could mean the baby might come earlier than 40 weeks. I was told the baby is at station -1 above my ischial spine. 'Station' means the relationship of the top of the baby's head to the spines of my pelvic bone. Stations start at -4 (normal, floating position of the baby in uterus) and go to 4 (where the baby's head is crowning). So...you can imagine my surprise when the midwife said the baby is in the -1 position!

No one knows for sure when this baby will be born, all I know at this point is that I'm ready and I'm not at the same time.

I'm ready in the fact that both Tom and I are really anxious to meet the baby! We want to know who this little person is and what he or she looks like. We are so excited about how this baby will add to our lives! We know our lives are about to change completely...in the most positive and exciting way!

Truth be told too though...I'm ready to have this baby because I'm getting more and more physically uncomfortable as the days go on. I am having a lot of hip pain at night, so much so that I've had to sleep in the recliner a few times to help alleviate the pressure. (Since the baby has dropped, that could explain why my hips are hurting me so badly.) Sleeping, walking, tying my shoes, getting in and out of the car...all big challenges in these past few weeks. All will be worth it though when we get to meet our little squirt!

On the other hand...I'm not ready for this baby. I will be completely honest here, I'm freaked out about being a mom! Can I really do this? I have days where I'm like, 'I know I can do this' and then others where I ask myself 'Are you crazy? You don't know what you are doing?' I suppose many new parents go through these emotions...or at least I hope they do!

However, I think fear is something that keeps me focused. I want to learn more, ask questions, think carefully about our decisions, etc. I know I will make mistakes and that is part of learning to be a good parent. The most comforting thing for me is that this baby will love me no matter what! Of course, when he or she is 13 or so, that may be another story. But for now, I know there will be unconditional love...there is no better incentive to do my best than that:)